You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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