nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Barsexuality is the new black.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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