well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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