VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
He? As in you personified your dick?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
