i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
