i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize