and you said cock pushups were impossible
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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