She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
