Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
