just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
