Can i not drive my cunt home
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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