I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this hospital has no fireball
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Randomize