batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize