i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
