I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
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