I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I need a burrito and a hug.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
True college students do jello shots in the library
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