yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
