i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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