Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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