could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
