I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize