Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
did i just pee glitter
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize
