Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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