I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize