But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
