I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
