And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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