And the cops told us we were all naked.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Let's paint friendship bongs
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize
