Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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