The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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