you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
