if only i could text you this smell
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Randomize
