i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
my shit smells like andre
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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