i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
What a dumb baby whore.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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