i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
