maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
