I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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