I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
