Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(513): View more from Ohio

You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.

(513): View more from Ohio

and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.

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(501): View more from Arkansas

First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.

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(217): View more from Illinois

I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...

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(954): View more from Florida

tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position

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(217): View more from Illinois

sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Wait does semen show up on blood tests?

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(512): View more from Texas

just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.

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(731): View more from Tennessee

Everyone got an underage but her

(1-731): View more from Tennessee

How'd she get out of it?!

(731): View more from Tennessee

She hid in the FUCKING DRYER

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