What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
