my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
