Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
