I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
