You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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