I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
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