honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
