Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
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