Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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