so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
