I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
