even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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