he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
are you so shy because you have an std?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
