yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
