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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before

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• (408): View more from California

  she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room

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• (813): View more from Florida

  watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?

  (1-651): View more from Minnesota

  yeah you don't forget that shit easily

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.

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• (760): View more from California

  Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.

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• (901): View more from Tennessee

  My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".

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• (901): View more from Tennessee

  The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked

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